Monthly Archives: February 2013

my butterfly girl

I saw a butterfly in my garden this morning. I never see butterflies in my garden.

I watched it fly, I saw the life in it and God filled me with hope for my butterfly girl. He is so kind.

This is her favourite song – sing it over her today and we pray and declare truth over her.

If you haven’t yet read about butterfly girl, here is some of her story and a recent update here


I probably wouldn’t believe me…

Monday 11th February 2013, morning prayers at the Fusion offices:

As has become our habit/ritual/rhythm, we began the week asking God what it was that he wanted to release over us in the week and what might come against those plans, or block their path.


Fatiema (prophetic declarer of truth and giggler) had a picture of dark storm clouds coming over Manenberg, but we, the Fusion community, were standing with our arms out pushing back the clouds – it wasn’t difficult but a simple matter of standing and pushing them back.

During last week, there was a stream of circumstances that looked like those storm clouds coming over Manenberg, in relationships, struggles with substances, in disappointments – but as I lay in bed on Thursday night, praying for the declaration that gang war had been called in Manenberg…I knew it was time to stand up; that this had been the storm we’d been waiting for. A text went around that night to call us to pray and then Friday morning at the Fusion offices we did battle.

We spent a few (very sweaty) hours worshipping before our loving father, declaring truth, walking in personal freedom, dancing, shouting, screaming, being still and listening to a voice we trust. As we worshipped a miracle happened.

Raymano and I watched as three young men ran with their guns to shoot…everyone else was too busy to notice. So I turned the music up real loud and prayed a prayer I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to pray – but I called down a spirit of confusion on those young men, that they would not know what they were doing and that they would turn around and come home and put their guns away. Raymano and I then saw those same men come back having not fired a shot. WHAT?!?!?

And as we worshipped, the spirit spoke with us about what our strategy in pushing back these clouds would be. We would worship and we would walk. We went and prayer walked outside on of the primary schools that the gang had “promised” they were going to shoot beside as the kids came out of school – they could hide amongst the people that way. And so we stood there with terrified parents, frantic kids, and people for whom this was just too normal.

I asked Patrick what to do if they actually started shooting and he told me to lay flat on my face. I must confess, even though I believed God asked us to be there, my body looked chilled, my heart said otherwise! But we continued and then we got back to our offices…no-one had shot yet.


When I got home, I saw a message from Raymano on facebook saying PEACE had been declared in Manenberg.


What a beautiful word.

I could not believe it, and yet why was I surprised because that was exactly what God had promised – but so often all we see is our prayers going into the heavens and while we believe that something is happening, what we really long for is to see our prayers hit earth, with force, to see change in the physical. And that is what we saw. And our faith has been raised, we’ve spent the last week prayer walking, giving out free muffins, declaring truth with more conviction and hope than before, and continuing to pester heaven with our desire to see more hit earth…

There is so much I long to see on earth as it is in heaven, and I sit with this difficult tension of the young lady from my last blog, ( who we continue to love in the heavenlies but struggle to help her on earth, with gang fights that through worship, stop…yet young men who battle to let go of their gang ties despite seeing light defeat its darkness. But I believe more than I did last week, I am free-er and I’m topped up on hope to continue the battle.

Our Father in Heaven

Hallowed be your name


Your will be done

On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us today our daily bread

And forgive us our sins

As we forgive those who have sinned against us

Lead us not into temptation

Deliver us from evil

For thine is the KINGDOM the POWER and the GLORY

forever and ever


what about when it’s hard?

Last week was one of those weeks, and the one before, and the one before. January has taken its toll on me and I am tired. Tired, not in my body but in my heart. 


Tired of seeing people hurting, tired of seeing people getting hurt by others, tired of seeing people who are so used to hurt it just seems normal. It’s not…right?

I wanted to share with you one day in the middle of these few weeks to give you an idea of some of the realities I/we are facing here.

It was a Wednesday morning and Patrick and I were at The Warehouse for prayers and the staff meeting. Our boss, Jonathan, is off on sabbatical at the moment. During the prayer time I could feel my phone ring in my pocket, then I got a second buzz to tell me there was a voicemail – I quickly checked to see who it was from, it was Jonathan. Why was Jonathan calling me during prayers? He knows we’ll be in prayers, there must be some kind of problem.

A friend of mine that we’ve been supporting for a long time is hitting an all time low at the moment (the butterfly girlie from Her health isn’t good, and I have ongoing low level anxiety about her wellbeing. When I got this call from Jonathan I knew it was about her, my mind started to race and I thought maybe he was calling to tell me she had given up on life and it was too late…I didn’t know but for those 10 minutes, I couldn’t get rid of that horrible feeling in the pit of my tummy.

Anyway, I eventually got to listen to the message and it was about our butterfly, but just to say that she had been rushed to hospital yesterday and was very ill. Patrick and I headed straight to Manenberg to see what was going on and we found her in bed at home. The sight of her laying there, tiny and hopeless, she was clearly someone who had given up on life. We had a chat and said we’d be back later to hear what she wanted to do. We then spent the next few hours trying to find her options in rehabs or hospices or whoever would take her. We went back to see her in the afternoon and she had decided to go and visit the drug counselling people close by the next day.

Then, just as Patrick and I were about to leave the office to go home, a gun battle erupted outside the office. The shooting went back and forth for longer than I’ve experienced, and frankly, I was pissed off. It was literally the last thing I needed that day.

Why do I tell this story? Because sometimes my days are full of death and violence – I don’t want to glamorise life here, or ask for pity – but simply to let you know that some days it’s really hard. Some days I don’t think I can make it.  Thankfully, those days are often balanced out by the days of celebration or laughter…but not that Wednesday, and not the week around it. I later chatted to Jonathan who encouraged me that this is what we do…we’re not here to pump out all the good news stories but to hold people as everything around them falls apart and to love them, and love them, and love them.

But it’s hard.

“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”





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