I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams recently. Thinking about some of the dreams I’ve been given and am still waiting for. I’m past the trying to make it happen by myself stage, but I sit with this “what now?” question. How do I keep these dreams alive without jumping five steps ahead of myself? How do I continue to hold out hope for what I thought might have happened five years ago and still hasn’t?
Where does my hope coming from?
I’ve just finished reading the memoirs of a man from Northern Ireland who was hectically caught up in drugs, dealing and all that goes with it for the best part of 30 years. I was struck at the depth of brokenness in my home town, struck by how empty so many people are, struck by how we’re all looking to fill the same hole. And this isn’t a blog about us all having a God-shaped hole (although I kinda think I believe that completely) but rather about our source of hope**.
I finished the book by reading his dramatic story of deliverance (there is no better word) from a lifestyle of destruction, instantaneously… apart from being slightly frustrated that I don’t hear that story every single day where I find myself, I finished the book filled with hope. And I wondered, how do people cope who never hear stories of hope? And how good are we, am I, at searching out hope, filling myself with information of goodness rather than negativity? I wondered how helpful some of the shows and movies I watch are, and wondered how society could look different if we all had hope to hold on to.
I thought about the young men and women I work with and how hopeless they are, how de-sensitised to pain they are at times, and how, if they only saw more stories of hope, real people, in their faces, seeing breakthrough and enjoying life…what that might do for them?
And so back to my dreams…
I may not be seeing fulfillment of some of my dreams in this moment, but I am seeing promises fulfilled in others, I am seeing five-year old dreams coming true for other people, and so I have hope for the things I think I’ve been given. I have hope in the giver. And I trust that as I hold what I have, it wasn’t given to me to cause hurt and disappointment but rather to move me into richness and fullness of life…and that the giver of dreams is way more creative and kind than I, and so I keep dreaming…
** the book is: “No Deals” by Jackie Burke